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Abbot and Costello Meet Your Favorite Terrible Stand-Up Comic…in 3-D!

Rich Cerow
These ice-cold killers just signed a contract to whack the Chief of Police for ten Swedish Fish and a couple of Peeps.

Now, I don’t have kids, but I used to be one, so I think I know a thing or two about them. And one thing’s for sure, kids love candy. That’s why if I were in the mob, I’d exclusively hire kid hit men (or hit kids would be more correct, I guess, but I don’t want to appear to be endorsing domestic violence here). Cause you can get a kid to do anything for candy, including murder. And since I’m paying them in candy, which comes pretty cheap, I’d get to keep all my ill-gotten gains for myself. Besides, they’d be adorable dressed up in little gangster and moll costumes, like they’re doing one of those old-timey photo shoots at Six Flags.

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