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Pop Horror, or Daddy Frightfest

Rich Cerow

Being a low-tier paperback novelist must pay pretty well. And it doesn't really seem that hard- just get a decent cover artist and come up with a gripping title, and then just go ahead and churn out the same story fifty different times as part of a "series." Of course, this also necessitates some totally awesome series titles. Being something of a horror movie geek, I figured if I was to get into this racket, I'd go into the bad - horror - novel - with - a - picture - of - a - girl - in - a - bustier - having - her - neck - bitten - by - a - long - haired - Dracula - while - a - wolf - howls - menacingly - at - the - moon - in - the - background - on - the - cover
I've come to suck your blood... unless you do my history homework.
genre. Since, as we've already established, the writing and story itself is secondary, and since I am not a fantastic cover artist who can paint portraits of Fabio as a pirate rescuing a fair maiden in order to take her to many erotic encounters, I decided that I'd pitch some of my wonderful horror paperback titles today. Here are just a few examples you're sure to see flying off your drug store shelves any day now:
  • Game of Shadows: Second in the BloodMare Series
  • The Pierced Veil: A Blood on the Moors Novel
  • Cassandra: A Children of the Dark Prince Tale
  • Wolfen: The BloodLust Chronicles
  • Toil & Trouble: Part the First in the Blackened Heart Trilogy
  • Sacrifice: A Tooth & Nail Adevnture
  • The Last Kiss: A Vampiric Lust Erotic Thriller
  • The Curtain Falls: Part of the Shadows' Edge Universe
  • Red, Red Rain: The Sequel to Vampyr Apokalypse
  • King's Gambit: Vampires' Quests During the American Revolution
I could do this all day. Anyway, if any of you harlequin romance publishers out there are looking to expand your trashy lines into the horror field, send an e-mail to and I'll see if I can rise from my coffin at the piercing of midnight to drink from the haunted cup while the beasts outside tremble and wail at the sensing of my presence and we can hammer out a deal - four novels in exhange for your immortal soul!

I am ice-cold good at this. Somebody pay me.

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