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Newest - Highway to Hell - DREEEEEEW!
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Paths of Glory, Book 2: The Tesla Connection, Page 7
Rich Cerow
Do not laugh at this hilarious image, it's disrespectful.
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"The space bucks, all of them. And your personal magno-strips," you shakily say to the
terrified couple. The crowd around you begins to taunt and jeer the couple. The couple
begins to hand you what they have on them, when you notice the small silver sliver of an
emergo-alert tag, much like those ones old ladies wear for when they've fallen and they
can't get up, except in this case it is to alert the polic of crimes, and not to get
an ambulance there to help an old lady out of the tub. And, man, do you feel bad for those
paramedics when they have to help a naked old lady out of the tub. Talk about awkward.
Anyway, you hear the wailing sirens screaming towards you. Within minutes, police
hover-cars are descending on your location (even on far away planets, police response
time is much better for rich people). The street urchins who were so loyal to you moments
ago scatter like roaches. You find yourself already shaken by what you were just about to
do, and now the shock of the police showing up has left you frozen. If you had a heat wand,
perhaps you could melt yourself (if you could type quickly enough), but instead you are frozen
in a block of ice until the end of time due to your slow reflexes. Or maybe you just get carted
off to jail, and your situation is nothing like the one Josh Baskin finds himself in in Big
when he plays that awesome looking game that I think is made up since I can't find a copy to
download anywhere.
Something that looks fun but probably isn't in real-life. Like
sea monkeys and Domino Ralley.
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The police do end up catching you, though, and imprisoning you. You are completely
heartbroken and confess. Also, confessing ensures that you won't be fed to the almighty Sarlaac.
Not that a thing that just sits in the ground waiting for food to wander by can really be called
almighty. But Jabba's big on exaggertaing like that to intimidate his enemies and whatnot.
Jabba probably should have just been eating his enemies himself, and have a better screening
process when he's hiring guards (see one of these other pages for
a rant on Lando Calrissian).
GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200.
DO TURN DIRECTLY TO PAGE 8.
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