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Theme Song for Joey

Rich Cerow

Iíve never seen Joey on NBC, Friendsí uglier, less popular kid sister, who wouldnít have a prayer of a drunken make-out session with the president of the A/V club, let alone be Americaís sweetheart and on the arm of the captain of the football team the way Friends was. Anyway, despite having never seen it, I suspect that I know exactly what the theme song sounds like, and Iíve got my lyrics to that song right here. Just imagine a vaguely rockiní tune behind these words. They should probably get Kenny Loggins to do it.
What is that Joey doing wearing a suit in the pool?!


Youíre on your own,
Youíre gonna make it after all,
Youíre on your own,
And nothingís gonna stop you now

Youíre heading out West,
With your Dreams in your pocket,
The sunshine is warm
And the future is bright
Youíre the best youíll ever be!

Youíre on your own,
The world is at your feet,
Youíre on your own,
Come on, Drea. Diving from Sopranos to Joey is even worse than Meadow showing up on I Love the '90s: Part Deux.

Youíre taking it to the street

Youíve left your ďFriendsĒ behind,
But their love is in your heart,
It helps you make it through
It helps you make it right
You believe in yourself, itís all you need!

Youíre on your own,
Your life lays before you
Itís time to put yourself
To the test
Itís time to make it true
Itís time to live your dreams!

Obviously, the whole time the song plays see a montage of Joey like, driving in a convertible while palm trees pass by. You know, and heís probably wearing sunglasses while heís driving, because heís in Hollywood. Oh, and they probably show quick shots of the Hollywood sign, and Mannís Chinese Theater, you know, all the landmarks. Just to remind everybody that the show takes place in L.A.

If the theme song doesnít actually sound anything like this, and the producers of Joey think it might help revive their sagging enterprise, they can send $15,000.00 in small, unmarked bills to rich@xtremewailing.com. And come alone.


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