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Best Party Ever

Jim Jenista

Here it is, kids. Tell all your friends: next weekend Im throwing a raging party on the International Space Station! Everyone show up representing your home country for a spectacular shindig that will unite the peoples of the world with loud music and bad behavior. Im not joking, bring your dancing shoes and a bad-ass smile because this party will be so far off the chain its outta sight.

The International Space Station Party will feature:

Tang globule shots, a favorite of the daily ISS dwellers. They like to catch the ounce in style, like twirling at ten degrees per second. These are best done early in the night, as the walls are mostly covered with pointy metal instrumentation.
Really loud music, were talking 11 here. There are no neighbors in space! When Vladimir Putin heard this idea he offered to bring his military-grade mega bass system up a day before the main event. You can't see the Space Station with the naked eye, but you'll be able to hear it and it'll make you want to get your whole body naked!
Drinking games that are impossible to play on Earth. Like real-life Hungry, Hungry Hippos. There is an international bracket sign up sheet for 1,024 teams. Hurry or you'll have to sit in the corner and try to play regular HHH, which totally doesn't work up there.
Absolutely zero hangovers. I guarantee on your reentry you will be infused with a vigor for life previously unheard of. Plus no one has to drive so you can have a little hair of the dog, which makes bobbing in the sea and waiting for pick-up pass a little more quickly.

So get psyched by jumping your moped over a line of five model space shuttles because the entire world will be talking about this party on Monday. Do you want to be hear the crazy story about how everyone got naked, then donned spacesuits and went zero-gravity skinny-dipping?, or do you want to be the one telling it? E-mail me or post any musical suggestions for the first International Space Station Extrava-kegstandza.

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