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90 Second Movie Review: Beauty Shop
There must have been three butt jokes in this trailer. Now, this isn’t so amazing; if you put
Queen Latifah in a movie, it’s pretty much required that you make a bunch of jokes about her butt.
Cause she’s overweight (and I bet that she overcomes these odds and her beauty shop is a huge success,
cause she’s a single mother just struggling to make it in a man’s world, and at the end everyone learns
a valuable lesson about true beauty being on the inside and that if you do you’ll find so much more to
love in this world.
And this is all despite the fact that she owns a beauty shop. Oh, and
the bank will almost foreclose on her business because her main competitor sabotaged her hair driers
or something, but then at the last minute her crazy moneymaking scheme will pull through and they’ll
win a victory for small-business owners everywhere, because undoubtedly it’s some evil Corporation
trying to squeeze them out. Yeah, that happens. You know the drill), but she don’t care. She’ll
sass you like that. What is amazing, however, is that the makers of this trailer managed to somehow
avoid using Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” during one of the seemingly endless butt close-ups in this
trailer. Sure, it’s undoubtedly used to great effect in the movie itself, but when I watch a trailer
and see a butt, I expect to hear Sir Mix-A-Lot, or at least some Digital Underground “Humpty Dance,”
which I think is about butts, or something involving butts. I’m not sure, I just remember that Humpty
wore that Groucho Marx glasses-and-nose combo that you can buy in novelty stores. Either way, I demand
a novelty rap tune about women’s derrieres when I see a close-up of a butt in a comedy’s trailer.
“Brick House” by the Commodores is also acceptable.
I hope they're not arguing about the Bible having something against dancing.
Cause Kevin Bacon will totally smoke Queen Latifah in that argument. She has no idea what she's in for.
What your girlfriend will think of you if you take her to see Beauty Shop:
Well, you obviously already refer to her as “girlfriend” quite a bit, so I don’t think there’s much
she can misconstrue from you taking her to see this movie. And remember, just because you’re overweight
doesn’t mean you aren’t beautiful.
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