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90 Second Movie Review: Scoop

Rich Cerow
Get on the case or open a saloon!

In Scoop Scarlett Johansson plays a fledgling reporter who lands a big story and then a bunch of other stuff happens. This looks akin to that tennis movie Woody Allen just did with his new muse, so I'm not gonna really get into the fact that it looks like it might be serviceable, I just wanna know how anybody is supposed to know that the girl whose name is too hard to spell and I am too lazy to look it up twice for the purposes of writing this review is even a reporter, because I certainly don't see her wearing a fedora with a tag sticking out that says "PRESS" in big, bold letters. Cause that is the only way I can identify a reporter. Also, if she's going to be a girl reporter in this, somebody in the newsroom (preferably the gruff editor-in-chief, who rides her extra hard because she's a female but deep down has nothing but respect and love for her and eventually becomes like a father figure to her, while still projecting his hardnosed take-no-guff exterior) better call her a "Gal Friday." Cause women have no place in journalism - they don't know how to dig deep and get the hard facts. Also, I think someone should call her a dame. And she should say she needs to work twice as hard as any man" just to keep up. Also, she should travel in a time machine back to the 1940's, and all of these jokes would make a lot more contextual sense.

What your girlfriend will think of you if you take her to see Scoop: That you are a big fan of easily the worst G.I. Joe character ever - Scoop, who can be seen here:

I mean, come on, what kid wants to be the field reporter? I used to have this doll, and I had to make believe his camera shot a giant laser blast, and even then I had him killed off almost immediately in battle. I don't even think that's a pistol in his hand - it's a boom mike! Come on, what kind of audio fidelity are you gonna get when Duke is blasting Destro right next to you and Lady Jane's just tossed off a sonic wave spear at the Baroness? None. No audio fidelity, I tell you, Scoop.

Today's review brought to you by Perry White:

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